Tuesday, September 20, 2005

And Tennessee Tuxedo Shall Lead Them

I've often speculated at the inspiration for Conservative ideas here in America. Where do they come from? What clandestine think tank, what fundamentalist religious scholars ponder the great unanswered questions of modern Conservatism? What holy symbol rises proudly as the representation of Conservative Christian ideals? The Crucifix? Heavens, no! The Bible? Nay, sir. Dare I say, the Constitution? It is to laugh!

Friends, it is the penguin. Specifically, those found in the documentary March of the Penguins, currently the second-highest grossing documentary of all time.

From Sarah Gilbert at BloggingBaby:

Conservatives are insisting that the penguins illustrate their talking points, whether it be monogamy, or intelligent design, or the Christian walk of life that sometimes includes backsliding (the penguins falling behind the group) and having difficulty finding the "good" path (things change, you have to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit). One pundit even claims the film is anti-gay marriage.

Yes, fellow liberals, the mystery is solved. While mice and dolphins may be the smartest creatures on Earth, penguins are clearly the most righteous.

And, lest you think I'm picking on the Conservative Christians because I'm mean, here is a study guide on March of the Penguins, courtesy of the United Methodist Church. See if you can tackle a few of these ponderables:

What Christian values are illustrated in the actions of the penguins? Can God use animals to teach us?

Were you surprised by the strong role the male penguin played in parenting?

Do you believe they are capable of love, trust and courage? Does it matter to you?

This is a study guide for adults, I might add.

Now, I don't mean to be too hard on the Conservative Christians; there are plenty of blogs out there for that. But this whole line of thought is absurd. Morality is a uniquely human creation and the idea that we can learn about marital relations and gay civil rights from a bunch of flightless birds in the Antarctic is just plain ridiculous.

Besides, everyone knows penguins are liberal anyway...


Anonymous said...

Always keep in mind Wendell and Cass, the NY penguins who are a couple and who are both male...Salon had a good article about them a couple years ago.

Charlotte Smith said...

They raised penguin chicks too, IIRC!

Samurai Sam said...

Penguins are clearly the most progressive of the flightless birds. Ostriches are a bit more moderate but chickens always vote straight Republican.

DadOBot said...

"Laughter, the best medicine."

I just can't read this stuff with a straight face. LOL!

HisMalignantness said...

but what about gay penguins?

HisMalignantness said...

if birds of one feather stick together then they probably had really sticky parents

Gifted-1 said...

OMG... I can't stop laughing long enough to make any serious comments...