Saturday, May 13, 2006

Add It Up


As everyone is probably aware by now, a recent Harris poll in the Wall Street Journal has President George W. Bush's approval rating at a Nixonian 29%. It seems the old adage that you can fool some of the people all of the time still applies to those rugged diehards still waiting for that beer with Dear Leader. For the rest of us, however, watching this President do a slow burn into deep unpopularity is a bitter sweet reward. It's comforting to know that the rest of the country is finally catching on, but sad as well to see what kind of damage this man and his cronies have done and continue to do to the planet.

So, in honor of this low-water mark, I say it's time to remember just why George W. Bush doesn't pack the gear to serve as our President, and never did. Christians, like Bush, believe that every sin is equal in the eyes of God. I believe in measuring someone with his or her own scale, so I'll consider every trespass by Bush as having equal value; say, perhaps, 1 percentage point. Thus, it's easy to see why his approval ratings are in the basement. Let's take a little trip back down memory lane and look back at 6 years of executive incompetence, shall we?

Here, for your reading pleasure, are 71 reasons why George W. Bush is unfit to sit in the Oval Office (in no particular order):


  1. Bush was appointed President by the Supreme Court, in what many legal scholars have argued is the most egregious example of "judicial activism" in history.
  2. "You're doin' a heckuva job, Brownie!"
  3. 2,437 American soldiers dead in Iraq.
  4. Went AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard.
  5. Believes God wanted him to be President.
  6. Wrote a signing statement for the McCain Anti-torture amendment that essentially gives Bush the authority to ignore the law.
  7. The No Child Left Behind Act.
  8. The "Clear Skies" Initiative.
  9. Supports a Constitutional Amendment banning gay marriage.
  10. Abu Ghraib.
  11. Said in an interview that Intelligent Design creationism ought to be taught in public schools.
  12. Turned a robust federal budget surplus into the largest deficits in history.
  13. Is looking forward to sitting on the porch of Trent Lott's new mansion.
  14. Admitted that his best moment as President was catching a fish in his stocked, man-made lake.
  15. Continued reading "My Pet Goat" after learning on the morning of 9/11 that the United States was under attack.
  16. Used the term "Islamo-fascists" in the State of the Union address.
  17. Believes the Star Spangled Banner should be sung only in English, after having it performed in Spanish at his inauguration.
  18. Nominated Harriet Miers to be a Supreme Court justice.
  19. Drummed up a phony fiscal crisis as an attempt to eliminate Social Security.
  20. "Bring it on!"
  21. Staged a photo op with Iraqi troops in which he presented them with a plastic turkey.
  22. Cannot pronounce "nuclear".
  23. Joked about not being able to find WMD's at the Radio and TV Correspondents' Association dinner.
  24. Refused to meet with Cindy Sheehan.
  25. Gave $14 billion in tax cuts for oil companies booking record quarterly profits.
  26. Asserts the authority under Article 2 of the Constitution to spy on American citizens without a warrant.
  27. Refuses to speak with the NAACP.
  28. Deputy chief of staff helped out Valerie Plame, an undercover CIA agent working in nuclear weapons nonproliferation.
  29. Held hands with Saudi Prince Bandar while strolling through the Rose Garden.
  30. Attempted to turn over control of all major U.S. ports to the United Arab Emirates, one of the only nations in the world to recognize the Taliban.
  31. Osama bin Laden still at large.
  32. Has spent more time on vacation than any President in history.
  33. Mocked Karla Fay Tucker's appeals for her life.
  34. Supports repealing the Estate Tax.
  35. Pledged to be a "uniter, not a divider" before leading the most partisan government in U.S. history.
  36. Asserts the right to hold U.S. citizens, such as Jose Padilla, indefinitely, sans trial.
  37. Claimed in the State of the Union address that Saddam Hussein had recently sought yellowcake uranium from Niger, despite copious evidence indicating it wasn't true.
  38. Claimed that several hydrogen production labs found in Iraq were mobile weapons labs capable of producing chemical or biological WMDs.
  39. The Downing Street Memo.
  40. Told the Houston Chronicle's Mickey Herskowitz in 1999 that "If I had a chance to invade;...if I had that much capital, I'm not going to waste it" when speaking of his father's war against Iraq.
  41. Implied that John Kerry falsified his injuries suffered in Vietnam.
  42. Cut the highest marginal tax rate, netting billions in tax savings for the wealthiest 1% of Americans.
  43. Refused to sign the Kyoto Accords.
  44. Authorized "extraordinary rendition", where captives from the "War on Terror" are shipped, for interrogation purposes, to countries which allow torture.
  45. "We're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them here."
  46. Wants to privatize social security.
  47. Has never vetoed a single bill.
  48. Thinks Russian President Vladimir Putin has "a good heart".
  49. Wants to implement a "Guest Worker" program that would create a permanent underclass of non-citizen cheap labor.
  50. "But I'm the decider and I decide what's best!"
  51. May actually believe that we're making progress in Iraq.
  52. Doesn't know the difference between an election and a functioning democracy.
  53. Thinks Donald Rumsfeld has done a great job prosecuting the "War on Terror".
  54. Authorized the creation of the Orwellian Department of Homeland Security.
  55. Doesn't find Stephen Colbert funny.
  56. Has repeatedly signed cuts to veterans benefits, while exhorting the country to "support the troops".
  57. In 2004, authorized federal environmental regulators to ignore the Clean Water Act.
  58. Mars, bitches!
  59. Has a contingency plan in case the Rapture occurs during his presidency.
  60. Has authorized re-classifying information from the National Archive.
  61. Wants to open the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve to exploratory oil drilling.
  62. Has nearly doubled the national debt, raising it to almost $10 trillion.
  63. The prison at Guantanamo Bay.
  64. Has refused to intervene in the Darfur genocide, while decrying the war crimes of Saddam Hussein.
  65. "George W. Bush doesn't care about black people." - Kanye West
  66. Placed John Roberts and Samuel Alito on the Supreme Court.
  67. Is opposed to stem cell research but not in-vitro fertilization.
  68. Signed the Partial Birth Abortion Ban into law.
  69. Worst job growth under any President since World War II.
  70. Referred to Iran and North Korea as member of the "Axis of Evil" and then ignored them for most of his presidency.
  71. "Mission Accomplished"

Ugh! Time for a good stiff Tanqueray after wallowing in that much filth. Sadly, it really didn't take my accomplice Gifted-1 and I long to come up with 71 reasons why Bush is unfit for the Presidency.

Now it's your turn, dear readers. Give us 29 more reasons why John Conyers, after he becomes chair of the House Judiciary Committee following the November elections, should immediately draw up Articles of Impeachment. The comments are open...

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